'So American'
I'm about to discuss a concept that has made a huge impact on my life from my first semester at Iowa State. It is something I truly believe to my core and though I struggle to follow it most of the time, as I am only human and we have this horrible tendency to mess up, I wake up every morning hoping to be truer to it than I was the day before. I apologise in advance if I slip up and say anything that someone may find offensive. That is the opposite of my intention.
During my first semester at ISU I was reading an article in the Daily about whether or not racism exists on campus. It had a few statements from various people discussing the concept. The final verdict is irrelevant for what I have to say now, but there was one statement in particular that caught my attention. I am unfortunately not able to remember the direct quote, but it was from an African American student saying something along the lines of 'Yes, I feel racism everywhere: In the weird looks I get on the bus, when I get poorer service at restaurants. I think the problem is how many students here come from small towns in the mid-west who only know how to act around color because of what they've learned on TV or other forms of entertainment.' (Again, this is NOT an exact quote so there is a chance I misinterpreted what was said). This statement started a very long string of emotions and thoughts in my head.
I grew up in a pretty stereotypical small town in eastern Iowa. It is in fact very 'white'. To give you an idea, the high school in my town, which has students from a few different towns in Clinton County, has a population of about 550 students. Of that about 25 are not Caucasian. To an extent, it is quite true that the entertainment industry is what defines our knowledge of how to act around people of different skin color. I thought back to the shows of Nickelodeon and Disney and how they defined my childhood, the prime time to be learning the social customs suggested. I cannot for the life of me figure out what would have influenced me to act wrongly (I am aware there's probably a lot of small things in various shows. Overall however I cannot find anything that would outright teach anyone to be racist). So I made an assumption that she was perhaps referring to the various song genres that are often criticised for causing such problems. The only problem is I know the lesson my friends and I learned from that and all the hype caused by it is to NOT act as those lyrics suggest. That's completely wrong and not good and you're a horrible person if you say those things. I honestly could not think of anything that overall taught me or any of my friends wrongly. Perhaps that is because of the small town ignorance she was suggesting. Perhaps it was truth, and there wasn't anything we were doing wrong. It's probably a little of both.
First emotion: Anger. Who is this random girl to say that I'm racist just because I grew up in a small town?
Now, I'm not saying she was lying about people being racist towards her. Perhaps they were, or perhaps they just made a face that she was able to interpret wrongly. Honestly, I'm truly sorry that she's ever felt judged. That's just not fair, but what it comes down to is the fact that she was being just as judgmental as she was accusing others of being. The hypocrisy irritated me.
I kept thinking about this. It honestly consumed my mind for days, and still pops up every now and then.
It didn't take long for me to start thinking about myself. 'In what situations have I done this?' and then the realisation, 'Holy cow I judge people all the time.' This hit me like running full speed into a brick wall. SMACK! Then finally I came to one conclusion...
The biggest and most important way that we can stop judgement, and therefore wrong treatment of people in this world, is to try every day, ourselves, to judge a little less.
This is a belief of mine that has only been reinforced during my stay in Sydney.
I now know people from all walks of life. I have at least one friend from every continent, friends from dozens of countries, friends who have traveled the world and seen everything there is to see. Despite the diversity and supposed understanding that I'm surrounded by, I still hear "It's because she's American." and my favourite "That's SO American" all the time. I'm not talking about when this is said in jest, my friends and I mess with each other all the time and I know the difference. There are, however, times when this happens. Each one is like a dagger to my heart for two reasons. 1) I'm acting in a way that reinforces a negative view of the people from the my country; the country I know and love so very much. 2) I'm around people from all over the world and LOVE learning about them and where they come from. I try so hard to keep an open mind. I only wish they would do the same.
I fail at this more often than not. Everyone does. We're human, no matter how hard we try we're subject to error by default, but that is not going to stop me from trying. If we ever want to come even close to ending unfair judgement in this world we have to start with ourselves. I'm not saying that all major movements for justice and peace are useless and should be put on hold, because there's some truly amazing people out there doing insanely incredible things for humankind. All I'm asking is that when you're criticising others of being unfairly judgmental, remember to ask yourself how unfair you have been lately.
Maybe I'm wrong. I can't say, but this is something I truly believe with every fiber of my being.
E Pluribus Unum
Out of many, one.
*steps off soapbox*
During my first semester at ISU I was reading an article in the Daily about whether or not racism exists on campus. It had a few statements from various people discussing the concept. The final verdict is irrelevant for what I have to say now, but there was one statement in particular that caught my attention. I am unfortunately not able to remember the direct quote, but it was from an African American student saying something along the lines of 'Yes, I feel racism everywhere: In the weird looks I get on the bus, when I get poorer service at restaurants. I think the problem is how many students here come from small towns in the mid-west who only know how to act around color because of what they've learned on TV or other forms of entertainment.' (Again, this is NOT an exact quote so there is a chance I misinterpreted what was said). This statement started a very long string of emotions and thoughts in my head.
I grew up in a pretty stereotypical small town in eastern Iowa. It is in fact very 'white'. To give you an idea, the high school in my town, which has students from a few different towns in Clinton County, has a population of about 550 students. Of that about 25 are not Caucasian. To an extent, it is quite true that the entertainment industry is what defines our knowledge of how to act around people of different skin color. I thought back to the shows of Nickelodeon and Disney and how they defined my childhood, the prime time to be learning the social customs suggested. I cannot for the life of me figure out what would have influenced me to act wrongly (I am aware there's probably a lot of small things in various shows. Overall however I cannot find anything that would outright teach anyone to be racist). So I made an assumption that she was perhaps referring to the various song genres that are often criticised for causing such problems. The only problem is I know the lesson my friends and I learned from that and all the hype caused by it is to NOT act as those lyrics suggest. That's completely wrong and not good and you're a horrible person if you say those things. I honestly could not think of anything that overall taught me or any of my friends wrongly. Perhaps that is because of the small town ignorance she was suggesting. Perhaps it was truth, and there wasn't anything we were doing wrong. It's probably a little of both.
First emotion: Anger. Who is this random girl to say that I'm racist just because I grew up in a small town?
Now, I'm not saying she was lying about people being racist towards her. Perhaps they were, or perhaps they just made a face that she was able to interpret wrongly. Honestly, I'm truly sorry that she's ever felt judged. That's just not fair, but what it comes down to is the fact that she was being just as judgmental as she was accusing others of being. The hypocrisy irritated me.
I kept thinking about this. It honestly consumed my mind for days, and still pops up every now and then.
It didn't take long for me to start thinking about myself. 'In what situations have I done this?' and then the realisation, 'Holy cow I judge people all the time.' This hit me like running full speed into a brick wall. SMACK! Then finally I came to one conclusion...
The biggest and most important way that we can stop judgement, and therefore wrong treatment of people in this world, is to try every day, ourselves, to judge a little less.
This is a belief of mine that has only been reinforced during my stay in Sydney.
I now know people from all walks of life. I have at least one friend from every continent, friends from dozens of countries, friends who have traveled the world and seen everything there is to see. Despite the diversity and supposed understanding that I'm surrounded by, I still hear "It's because she's American." and my favourite "That's SO American" all the time. I'm not talking about when this is said in jest, my friends and I mess with each other all the time and I know the difference. There are, however, times when this happens. Each one is like a dagger to my heart for two reasons. 1) I'm acting in a way that reinforces a negative view of the people from the my country; the country I know and love so very much. 2) I'm around people from all over the world and LOVE learning about them and where they come from. I try so hard to keep an open mind. I only wish they would do the same.
I fail at this more often than not. Everyone does. We're human, no matter how hard we try we're subject to error by default, but that is not going to stop me from trying. If we ever want to come even close to ending unfair judgement in this world we have to start with ourselves. I'm not saying that all major movements for justice and peace are useless and should be put on hold, because there's some truly amazing people out there doing insanely incredible things for humankind. All I'm asking is that when you're criticising others of being unfairly judgmental, remember to ask yourself how unfair you have been lately.
Maybe I'm wrong. I can't say, but this is something I truly believe with every fiber of my being.
E Pluribus Unum
Out of many, one.
*steps off soapbox*
Comments
http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=50135408n
"PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE. When we forget this very simple fact, we hurt people or at least upset them. Human beings are not fragile but they do care and they do take things personally.
People want to belong. They want to be included. They want us to think good things about them. They want to be noticed. They want to feel valued. They want to contribute. They want to have influence. They want to have choices. They want to feel good about themselves. They want to participate. They want to be trusted. They want to feel safe and comfortable. They want to be treated with respect and grace. And it's always useful to remind ourselves that everyone comes to every situation from a different background and set of concerns. In other words, they notice different things, care about different things, and see the same set of circumstances differently.
They do not want to be embarassed. They do not want to be made feel lesser than someone else. They do not want to be controlled or dominated."
- Paul Axtell
Sorry I hijacked your comments, but I thought it fit in here and applies to all differences. Seriously well put blog post!
I kind of want to share this article and subsequent comments (WELL SAID JESSICA) with the world.
I live in the middle of a cornfield outside of a town that occupies no more than 200 people and 37 stray cats. I've struggled with how 'narrow minded' some of them seem to be because they kind of live in a bubble. HOWEVER, they are also the kind of people who would open their home to a stranger without asking for anything in return and I do believe there isn't enough people like that in the world. There is something to be learned from every single human being on this earth and I try everyday to remember every person has their own story and it certainly isn't my place to judge them for it.
Again, awesome article Shayla!