Homesickness

It's officially been over 6 months since I have been home. This is the longest I have ever been away from my family by far. This time last year I was home enjoying summer in Iowa and all the usual activities. This year I'm receiving pictures of those activities and messages saying everyone misses me, and I'll honestly admit it's getting really hard.

It's hard for me to admit how homesick I am. Not because I'm stubborn, or am trying to act cool about the whole ordeal, but because I fear if I admit to myself how homesick I am, this place will no longer be worth it and I'll want to go back. Right now, deep in my heart I can tell I'm not done with this place. Not yet (and maybe I never will be, only time will tell that one). So it's easier (and a lot less stressful) to just deny how homesick I am most of the time. But, there are times when feelings do need to be addressed. For me that time is now. I am really homesick. And the stubborn part of me painfully admits, it's really scary missing my family and not knowing for sure when I'll get to see them again. I have ideas and plans in my head but they are currently a BIG maybe. So for now I'm just doing what I can to make myself feel as at home as possible. I even bought a cardboard cut out deer head to hang on my wall. I was SO excited for it I put it up the moment I got home and sent pictures to EVERYONE!

It's probably not normal how happy this makes me.
To my family, I thank you all so much for how supportive you have been through all of this. It would not be possible for me to be here without you. And most of all thank you for being there, and for missing me to remind me how wonderful of a family I have to come home to.

Until I see you again (or for the first time in Kallie's case) <3


Comments

Jessica said…
You better be here for Christmas! Love this post. Well written. :)
July 21, 2014 at 2:53 AM
Mom said…
Made me tear up. Miss you tons Cindy!
July 23, 2014 at 12:30 AM
Teisha said…
Went out and bought a new router right away yesterday when we couldn't oovoo cause of my stupid internet....miss you like crazy (as do the girls, like super strength miss you) They're always asking if you're going to be at family night :)
July 23, 2014 at 12:38 AM
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