Quarter Life Crisis

I feel like these aren't discussed enough, even though I know for sure I'm not the only one experiencing it. It happens in your late teens/twenties, right when you become an adult, and you realise you need to start acting like one. The days of no responsibilities are over. Very seriously over. In exactly a year, I am going to be expected to start paying off my student loans, meaning I need to get a job, hopefully one I don't hate completely. And where will this job be? I want to stay in Australia but the need to pay off my loans doesn't really allow me to be very picky. And what industry will this job be in? I chose mechanical engineering because of its versatility, but now that it's actually time to choose I'm finding that to be sort of a problem. I could literally do almost anything. I can't explain it any further than that because I mean that quite literally, anything.

So what do I do. And will I enjoy it enough to make these 4 1/2 years of school hell worth it?

Now this doesn't mean I regret any of the decisions I've made. I knew all of this when I decided to move here which meant much more in loans to pay off later. I knew the risks of trying to get a job here. I knew the risks of mechanical engineering and how hard it would be at school. And nothing is going to stop me from working as hard as possible to get to where I want to be (when I decide what that is).

But, it doesn't stop me from having this moment. The moment where I realise I am an adult. I have to get a job, I have to pay these bills, and I have to do this knowing that there are going to be moments where it sucks. There's going to be moments where I'm not where I want to be, not doing what I want to do.

So I'm just a bit stressed right now, about all of this. I'm at a major turning point in my life and it's proving to be difficult, and I know I'm not the only one struggling with this. So I think it would be nice, for this to be addressed more, for people to say "It's okay for you to have no idea what you're doing with your life." And to acknowledge that fact at any point in someone's life.

I don't know what I'm doing with my life. And that scares me a lot. I'm just going to keep working hard and taking the opportunities given to me and hopefully I figure it out soon.

Comments

Mom said…
Insightful post. You definitely aren't alone and this probably won't be the only time in your life you feel this way. Hang in there and forge ahead Cindy!
April 27, 2015 at 9:36 AM
Jessica said…
Change, major decisions, and uncertainty are tough but unavoidable experiences. I think this is a life long crisis but you are definitely at one of the biggest turning points. Just take it one step at a time...you don't need to see the whole staircase. And you know who to talk to when you need to talk it through! But I selfishly would like you to get a job in America. :)

Love this post! We all need to be more real and open like this! You are definitely not alone in these thoughts.
April 28, 2015 at 4:43 AM
Teisha said…
Great post and well said. When I finally figure out what I wanna do when I grow up get all my student loans paid off I'll let you know the secret of embracing adulthood BUT until then....poop.
April 29, 2015 at 1:13 AM
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